Fuck Wine

i bought a cheap bottle or red wine to bring with me to drink before we left. i wasn't a wine drinker, so i hadn't contemplated needing a corkscrew to open the bottle. i tore the paper away and stared at the cork, shoved deep in the neck. i took my keys out of my pockets and attempted to scrape it down and claw through the cork but it was futile. i grew impatient and went outside and broke the neck off the bottle on the front porch. i held the bottle up just above my lips and let the wine drain into my mouth. i felt the tiny shards of glass stick in my throat before they touched my lips. i coughed and spit up red liquid. it was impossible to tell the difference between the warm wine and the blood. i realized what a terrible idea this had been. i should have gotten vodka. 

i don't even fucking like wine.